


Praying for Love, Paying for Naivety

by Luckless_Salmon



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: F/M, Headcanon Xander is incredibly patient and thoughtful, Jealousy, Sick Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 15:32:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19444342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luckless_Salmon/pseuds/Luckless_Salmon
Summary: Does being jealous make you sick or being sick make you jealous?





	Praying for Love, Paying for Naivety

Although she had been through many battles, and dealt with thrice the amount of wounds, there was something particularly painful about watching the love of her life fall for another woman. While Odin blathered on in front of her, speaking of legendary tomes and tales of old, Corrin could not rip her eyes from the scene directly behind him. The way Xander’s eyes lit up when Sakura whispered softly into his ear, the soft smile that broke the hard terrain of his face when the young Hoshidan princess fumbled embarrassedly for something hidden in the fabric of her robes... they were reactions she had previously only seen elicited by herself and their shared siblings. While it warmed her heart to see her usually stoic elder brother bond with his fellow army members, especially those from neighboring Hoshido, a pang of jealousy still burned hot in her belly.

Or perhaps that was just the nausea that had plagued her as of late. Her hand fell to the small swell of her tummy, barely noticeable unless you were well-acquainted with the curvature of her body. She had attempted to stave off the recurrent feeling, skipping meals and pushing herself harder than before in training, some dark part of her hoping the situation would just take care of itself. When her... predicament had first become known to her, hope had blossomed in her chest like Hoshidan cherry blossoms in the spring, hope that she and her paragon knight could have a bright future together. Xander had always desired a family, a fact she knew by the way his high cheekbones flushed prettily upon teasing about the manner by Camilla. Now, however, watching the way Sakura pressed something small into the palm of the Nohrian Prince’s hand, the way he squeezed her own petite ones in return, Corrin didn’t think he pictured the same future as she.

“Lady Corrin, are you alright?” Odin questioned, cocking his head in concern. “You are looking a bit pale.” 

Corrin felt her mouth fill with sticky spittle, a sure-tell sign of what was to soon follow. “Ah- sorry, Odin, I guess I’m a little out of it; I haven’t been sleeping all that well.” 

The blond man nodded vigorously, although the concern didn’t leave his eyes. “Ah yes, the demons that haunt all of our nights, Odin Dark knows them well. Perhaps a medic could help you find solace in these trying times? After all, our chosen commander must be in peak condition if we are to reach the fated conclusion of our legendary battles here.”

“I-I’ll be fine Odin,” Corrin replied, feeling her hands begin to trembled and cold sweat bead at her hairline. “T-thank you for your concern for me though, it means a lot. I hate to end our meeting here, b-but I just remembered I have to speak with Azura regarding our strategy for tomorrow’s march. If you would excuse me...”

Without waiting for a response, Corrin spun on her heels and took off for the tree-line, feeling her heart rate increase and head begin to pound. From what little she knew of pregnancy, her morning sickness was rather severe, although it seemed as if she was fortunate to receive some sort of warning before the vomiting started; typical of the ever-chivalrous Xander to have a polite child. Feeling her legs turn to jelly, she dropped to her knees, keeling over; she was not as far from the camp as she would have liked, but it seemed as if her body lacked the fortitude of her mind.

Clutching fruitlessly at the spasming muscles of her abdomen, Corrin tried to fight the ascent of the acidic bile in her throat. She could only imagine the rumors that would spread among her troops.... the leader of their rag-tag army, spreading her legs for whatever man pleased her at the moment, allowing them to pump their essence deep into her body, to use her as their personal breeder... 

“A whore, just like her parents,” the misogynists would scoff, watching her tummy swell with a fatherless child. “Wouldn’t be surprised to see her pop out a bunch of little bastards before this war is over, the promiscuous bitch.” 

Corrin groaned unable to hold back a small belch that tasted of venison from the night before (Elise had brought her the meal while she was hunched over a terrain map, anxiety apparent in the younger woman’s voice as she begged her big sister to eat; who was Corrin to deny such a request, even if she knew the heavy meat would simply sit in the bottom of her stomach and cause future indigestion). The waiting was perhaps the worst part, stuck frozen and alone with only her dark thoughts and aching tummy to accompany her. 

The distant sound of laughter eventually triggered the spell, a wave of uneasiness from the thought of inadvertently being stumbled upon causing her entire body to heave. Realizing she had forgotten to tie her hair away from her face, Corrin began to sob, for some reason the prospect of returning to camp with freshly washed hair in the frigid fall air shattering her heart.

For fucks sake, for just once in her life she wanted something to be easy! To not have to suffer alone with her burdens, to be supported by someone else in her attempts to make things right. When Mozu had fallen pregnant, Silas had been right there with her through it all. Through the cravings, through the morning sickness, through the-

Corrin’s train of thought came crashing to a halt as she felt gloves fingers gently pull back the hair from her face, weaving the strands into a loose braid. While she was too busy choking out her guts to look behind her, she knew the deep baritone voice practically better than anyone else’s. “Little princess, it’s going to be alright. I’m here for you, let it all out.” 

Unable to respond verbally, Corrin whimpered, pressing her face into the palm that had moved to stroke her cheek. Even if he didn’t love her, this father of her unborn child, she was going to be the greedy, spoiled princess many thought her to be. For now, Xander was all hers. 

The waves of nausea and dry heaving lasted for several minutes, Xander remaining crouched beside her in the splash zone despite the awful stench. He spoke was sounded vaguely like sweet nothings in her ear- although it was hard to tell above the roaring of her own blood- and continued to cradle her jaw as if it was made of glass. Only when it seemed as if she was empty of everything she had consumed in the last five days did he push back into a squat, allowing her space to find her own bearings. 

The world spun before Corrin’s eyes, a blur of browns and yellows typical of the dying foliage of Autumn. With trembling hands she managed to roll herself over onto her back, breathing heavily, mouth still watering. 

Glancing down her prone form, Xander’s eyes came to rest on her face. “Er, you have a little....,” he waved his hand noncommittally, fishing around in his coat pocket before pulling out a neatly folded napkin. “...in the corner of your mouth. If you would pardon my forwardness, I’ll just...” 

Too exhausted to protest, Corrin allowed the older man to dab away the spittle around her lips with the dark handkerchief, distantly appreciating the soft circles he was rubbing into her thigh with his free hand. 

“Let’s get you away from this mess,” he murmured lowly after folding up the soiled fabric, masking any disgust that he may have experienced. His face was stoic as ever as he shifted her into his arms, lifting her body with a minimal amount of effort. Xander was a tall man with broad shoulders, muscles toned from years of training and war. Even without his bulky armor, he dwarfed Corrin in stature, a fact only exacerbated by the way she practically curled in on herself in an attempt to reduce the cramping in her abdomen.

“We should head to the medic...” Xander stated quietly as he began to walk back towards the encampment, although it was more of a question than a command. He tended to avoid attending physicians unless the situation was dire, believing it to be most beneficial if the healers focused on severely injured or ill patients. Although he encouraged his siblings to attend the doctor regularly, it was a trait that had rubbed off on Corrin from their time training together (much to Xander’s chagrin). Perhaps he was just being polite, but Corrin believed he was offering her a way out.

He probably just wants to see Sakura. 

Corrin felt her stomach twist at the thought and buried her face into the soft cotton of Xander’s shirt. “I-I just want to lie down for a bit if thats okay.”

The Nohrian Prince hummed ambiguously in response, although he didn’t stop walking. Had she not previously emptied the contents of her stomach, Corrin believed she would have thrown up then. Instead, she whimpered softly and dug her nails into her own palm until they began to bleed. 

Several moments later, Xander stepped through the flaps of a tent, the telltale sound of rustling canvas and the disappearance of Fall’s biting cold apparent immediately. The room was far too quiet for the infirmary, which was usually bustling with activity; the Dusk Dragon seemed kind enough to at least provide her that reprieve. Corrin felt herself gently placed on the soft linens of a sleeping roll she was ever-so familiar with, although it was not her own.

“If you don’t mind,” Xander began, taking the base of his gloves between his teeth and slowly pulling the leather garments off. “I would like to keep an eye on you for a bit, just to ensure you don’t require medical attention.”

He dropped the first glove to the floor, using his now-bare hand to remove the second. “I do have some paperwork to attend to, but figured you wouldn’t be entirely opposed to resting in my quarters for a bit.” A bit of pink dusted the blond’s cheeks before adding “in the most appropriate manner, that is.” 

“I think it’s a bit late for saying that,” Corrin retorted, delighted upon seeing Xander’s face flush a deeper shade of red. Spreading herself out on the cot, she happened to glance down at her own attire... only to realize it was speckled with sick. 

She felt her stomach churn. “Do you uh... could I perhaps borrow a shirt? Mine seems to be a bit.... soiled.”

Xander gazed down at her in the midst of unbuttoning his hefty coat, fingers fumbling upon seeing what she was referring to. “Ah, why of course,” he replied awkwardly, taking a few steps towards a singular chest in the corner. “How rude of me to have not offered before. Give me just a moment to find something.”

Corrin muttered a quick ‘thank you’ before she began to peel off her own clothing. It smelled rancid, and she was not entirely sure how Xander could stand to carry her without making any sort of fuss. He was always far more mature about these sorts of things than any of their other siblings, likely because he had been expected to do so since he was just a child. With Garon off wining and dining random women, much of the child-rearing had been left to young Xander, who also had to juggle his own studies and training. Camilla had once relayed a story of Xander soothing a sobbing toddler Leo in one arm while changing baby Elise’s nappy with another. He had been willing to sacrifice much of his own free time to ensure his siblings were thriving. He had truly been selfless.

He always had been.

After pulling her soiled shirt over her head, Corrin looked up to find Xander staring down at her just as intently. He held a large button-down shirt in his right hand, a sweater in his left.

“Your stomach seems to be quite bloated,” Xander noted, eyes emotionless and calculating as he stared at her paunch. “Have you developed some sort of food poisoning or infection? Perhaps that is the cause of your sickness today.”

“Aha, no, I mean yes but...” Corrin began, practically jumping out of her skin when Xander kneeled before her once again, pressing a large, cold hand to her stomach. “Please don’t touch it.”

“Hm, does it hurt?” He questioned, sitting back on his haunches before bringing a hand up to rub at his mouth thoughtfully. “Perhaps we should have diverted to the infirmary.”

“No, and no,” she responded curtly, backing into the canvas wall of the tent. It billowed outwards and she felt the cool air come in contact with her warm flesh, causing goose bumps to rise on her arms. The blades of grass caused the skin on her back to itch.

Giving her a dirty look, Xander reached forward and pulled Corrin back onto the bedroll fully. “Don’t be childish, you are an adult now Corrin, an adult in charge of an entire army. The people here depend on you to be at your physical peak. If you are ill, you owe it to them to be treated.”

Practically snarling, Corrin pulled away once more; she could feel her canines begin to sharpen, to dig into her lower lip they often did when she was upset. “Do. Not. Touch me.”

Who was Xander to march into her life and demand her to do as he pleased? He may be the future King of Nohr, but that meant little considering she was a princess herself (on top of being the leader of the entire army). He may have been intelligent, handsome, and brave, but he was also going to leave his firstborn to be a forgotten bastard child, a bastard child that may come to learn his father had chosen his youngest aunt over his lover and son. A man would would choose a woman half his age over-

Perhaps in response to her frazzled emotions, Corrin felt her stomach seize, a sharp pain shooting through her abdomen. Pressing one had to her belly and the other over her mouth, she attempted to quell the acidic belches she had come to associate with her vomiting spells, praying to the Gods she would be able to keep control of her own bodily functions.

“Corrin, you need to relax,” Xander asserted firmly, gently pulling her entire frame into his arms. “I’m sorry for upsetting you, truly, but you need to calm down.”

There was a pause, during which the Nohrian Prince took a deep breath. “I’m worried about you, little princess. Please, what In gods name is going on with you?”

Corrin groaned softly at the words, burying her face into Xander’s neck. While still nauseated and disoriented, she managed to guide one of his hands to rest on her swollen tummy. “Just hold me for now... please.” 

Humming softly, the blond began to rub circles into Corrin’s back, absentmindedly brushing the thumb of his opposite hand against her stomach. Feeling her heart flutter at the action, she allowed her mind to wander, hoping it would distract her from just how queasy she was. 

It was a few months from now, when the baby inside her had grown enough as to require her to wear maternity gowns. She was situated on her husbands lap, the two of them seated behind his desk. Xander used his dominant arm to shuffle paperwork and pen correspondence, but the other was reserved exclusively to rub circles into her swollen belly. Her head was laid back against his should and she relaxed lazily in the afternoon sun, drifting in and out of consciousness. A beautiful diamond wedding band glittered on her ring finger, a testament of their devotion to one another and the child within her. Opening her eyes, she gazed up into her husbands face, noting how he looked younger, happier than he had in many years.

Maybe it was just a woozy fantasy, but it was worth a shot.

“Xander...” she muttered, leaning back as to look him in the face, moving one of her hands to rest on top of his own on her tummy. “I- I’ve been ill because, well... because I’m pregnant.”

A long moment passed, perhaps one of the longest of Corrin’s life. To a bystander, it would appear as if Xander was staring blankly at the canvas wall of his tent, although to someone who knew him well, it was clear his mind was racing at lightspeed. His grip on her back had slackened, although he didn’t pull his hand away from her stomach. 

“That’s… that’s something else,” he stated blandly, voice wavering. She watched his adam apple bob as he swallowed hard, clenching and unclenching his fist. “Who’s the father?”

Corrin felt her mouth go dry. “You, of course. Who else could it be?”

“I uh, I mean…” the Nohrian Prince stammered, pink beginning to dust the tops of his cheeks. “I didn’t mean to imply that you were sleeping around or anything, I-I am just a bit… a bit surprised is all”

‘Understatement of the year,’ Corrin thought sardonically; Xander had never appeared so apprehensive in his life. With how incredibly imposing he seemed in front of the troops, it was easy to forget just how incredibly shy the older man could be. At the moment, he was chewing on the side of his cheek, having moved to tap his fingers against the floor in quick repetition.

“I was planning on waiting for a more appropriate time and place,” he began, shifting to reach into the pockets of his dress pants, obscuring something within his palm. “But I suppose now is as good of a time as ever.” 

With a flourish of his hand, Xander popped open a small red velvet box, containing within in for a sizable diamond ring; Corrin felt her breath catch in her throat. “My darling Corrin, you are the most important person in the world to me. Since we were reunited at the Bottomless Canyon, my feelings for you have only grown; if it came to it, I would sacrifice my life if it meant you were to live happily. It seems as if the Gods have chosen to bless us far earlier than either of us would have expected, but it seems as if this is fate. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

Feeling her eyes beginning to water and stomach clench (in a positive way, for the first time in a long time), Corrin nodded, meeting Xander’s gaze. “O-of course I will, my prince. I love you with the entirety of my heart. You have made me the happiest woman alive.”

Xander released a deep breath, shooting her a dazzling smile; his teeth were straight and white, a typical symbol of Nohrian beauty. “I feel the same about you, my little princess. Thank you for opening up my heart; I love you, truly.”

He paused, using his free hand to disentangle the ring from the padding of the velvet box.  
“Please, allow me to place this ring on your finger as a sign of my devotion to you… and our child.”

Corrin felt herself flush, holding out her left hand. “I have to admit, I was unsure about how you would take the news… I had mixed feelings about it myself… especially after watching how close you’ve become with some of the others in camp.”

“Hm, others?” Xander questioned off-handedly, gently sliding the white-gold band onto his fiancee’s ring finger “How does it fit? Do you like it?”

“Uh, I saw you with Sakura earlier and… well, it doesn’t really matter now,” the young woman replied awkwardly, examining the diamond in the fading afternoon sunlight. “It’s absolutely gorgeous Xander, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a jewel this large… you really shouldn’t have, considering the state of the Nohrian treasury.”

Xander snorted, the glowing smile not dropping off his face as he began to tease. “Sakura, really? She’s practically half my age; you think me far too similar to my father.”

“N-no that’s not what I meant at all!” Corrin gasped, clutching her ringed finger to her chest. “You are not at all like-”

“I’m simply teasing, love,” the prince responded cooly, taking her hand into his own and placing a kiss to her fingertips. “As for the diamond, well… it was from my mother’s wedding ring. I am not the most gifted designer, so I asked your younger sister for her input on how to make it more, well you. Sakura seemed like the only one who could keep a secret.”

Corrin felt her face flush, glancing away. “I-I suppose I should have figured that out, although I am choosing to blame this on being distracted by YOUR son.”

“Hm, a son? You seem rather certain of our little one’s gender despite he or she still being so small,” Xander noted, releasing her hand and moving to place his own on the swell of her belly. “Mother’s intuition?”

“What else could I expect from the crown prince of perfection?” Corrin teased, moving to once again cover his hand with her own. The diamond on her ring sparkled prettily. “It’s tradition for the first born to be a boy, no?”

Xander hummed ambiguously, using his thumb to stroke the skin of her belly. “That is true, although we are a family of nontradition… A crown princess for a Hoshidan-born queen… the court would have an absolute fit.”

Giggling, the young woman leaned in to kiss her husband on the cheek, noting gleefully a bit of stubble he seemed to have missed shaving. “Seems like you were a bit anxious this morning darling, something on your mind?”

“Mm, just thinking of a menial partnership, nothing too important,” he remarked slowly, hazel eyes alight with amusement. “You know how it is.”

“Of course,” Corrin replied, nodding solemnly although her smile did not leave her face. “I love you, my prince. I look forward to what comes next for us.”

“As do I, little princess, as I do I.”

**Author's Note:**

> Whoops I slipped and uploaded another piece of writing that may not have deserved to escape the depths of my mind. I honestly didn't edit this much so hopefully it's at least readable. Thank you for reading, kudos and comments appreciated.


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